Psychology professor Karen Dobkins created a university program that teaches practical relationship skills, which research shows can improve self-compassion and reduce loneliness.
College classes usually focus on academic subjects, but at UC San Diego, students now have the chance to learn how to build stronger relationships and handle their emotions. The course, Learning Sustainable Well-being, is part of the regular academic schedule. Instead of being an extra workshop, it’s a class students can register for like any other.
A Shift in the Lab Leads to Something New
Karen Dobkins, a professor in the Department of Psychology, spent many years working as a visual neuroscientist after earning her Ph.D. from UC San Diego. Over time, she noticed her reasons for doing research were changing.
Dobkins shared, “I started to feel like I wasn’t acting like a scientist anymore. I went into science for the joy of discovery.” Facing this shift, Dobkins made a bold move. She closed her neuroscience lab and started fresh in a new field. “I literally started from scratch, establishing a new lab and with zero reputation in a new field,” she said. She launched the Human Experience and Awareness Lab, known as HEALab, and created a new course that teaches practical skills for life and well-being.
Everyday Lessons That Change How Students Connect
This course explores ten key skills that many people never learn in school. One of the first things students practice is not jumping to conclusions about what others mean. Dobkins points out that misunderstandings often happen when people assume they understand someone’s intentions without checking. “It’s not about being nice. It’s more like, I’m going to not assume anything because I’m being logical, and I realize I don’t know,” she explains. “You can ask somebody, ‘What did you mean?'”
Students are encouraged to ask directly. For example, if someone seems distant, you might say how you felt and check if your assumption is correct. Students also work on sharing their feelings openly but with boundaries. They learn to describe what happened, how they felt, and what they’d like to change. “The only truth I know is what’s happening inside me. That’s the only thing I can report on faithfully,” Dobkins says.
Facing Conflict With a Different Mindset
During disagreements, the course teaches students to focus on what’s really bothering them instead of bringing up extra details. Naming the main feeling, like “I felt rejected” or “I felt not loved,” can make conversations more honest and helpful. Emotions are seen as useful information, not something to avoid. “Emotions are information, they need to be felt,” Dobkins says. Students learn to notice their feelings and respond thoughtfully, instead of ignoring them or reacting without thinking.
Results That Speak for Themselves
A study published in Frontiers in Public Health in 2023 found that students who took the course made real progress. They reported higher self-compassion, mindfulness, and trust in their own bodies, and felt less lonely compared to students who wanted to take the course but hadn’t yet.
In surveys after the course, 97% of students said it improved their well-being. The course’s popularity has led UC San Diego to expand it, training instructors from many departments so more students can benefit.
Unlike many wellness programs that are separate from academics, this course is part of the regular curriculum. Dobkins notes, “The thing that they know how to do: sign up for classes.” It’s designed to be easy for students to fit into their schedules.
Lessons That Go Beyond the Classroom
The course also addresses the issue of social comparison, which is often made worse by social media. Dobkins notes, “We live in a world where we’ve been brainwashed to equate accomplishment with worth.” Students learn to notice when they are comparing themselves to others and practice letting those thoughts go.
Another lesson focuses on accepting all parts of yourself, even the ones you may not like. Drawing from Carl Jung’s ideas about the “shadow,” Dobkins explains, “If not, it’s in the shadow, and it’s running the show.” Students are encouraged to understand and accept feelings like jealousy or insecurity without shame. “Even if it’s just 2%, own that.”
Compassion is also a key part of the course, especially when dealing with difficult people. Students are reminded that everyone has moments of being inconsiderate or defensive, and recognizing this can help reduce blame and open up better conversations.
What’s Next for This Growing Program
This program isn’t meant to replace therapy or clinical care, but it gives students practical tools for handling everyday stress, conflict, and self-criticism. Supported by campus leaders and the Sanford Institute for Empathy and Compassion, the course fills a gap in traditional education by teaching skills for managing real-life challenges. “It’s a skill like any other, and the lack of it causes a LARGE portion of unrest in our lives,” Dobkins emphasizes.
Dobkins sums it up well: “Where else do you get a class on how to be a human?” As more universities look for ways to support student well-being, UC San Diego’s approach could serve as a model for others.
Source: news-medical.net