Have you started feeling that your relationship is falling apart and, with this feeling, bedroom happiness became an impossible dream? Perhaps you blamed it on routine, your partner, or all the daily challenges you face. You may have tricked yourself into believing things will return to normal in no time.
The truth is that ignoring the elephant in the room doesn’t make it go away. So, instead of pretending everything’s fine or waiting for things to return to normal, it’s time you look deep into your heart. Do you love your partner enough to make an effort and fight for them? Can you find the courage and the strength to share your deepest feelings and offer the happiness you expect to receive, in and outside the bedroom?
Happiness is all about reciprocity, giving to receive, loving to be loved, and making people happy for them to care about your own happiness. Also, happiness doesn’t fall from the sky and doesn’t last forever. It takes commitment and effort. It’s built daily, with small gestures. So, in the following lines, we’ll look at achieving in- and out-of-bedroom happiness by giving what you want to receive, becoming the spouse your loved one dreams of for them to want to reciprocate. It’s not that difficult! The very reason that your partner chose you means you have something they love, something you can use.
What Men and Women Happy, in and out of the Bedroom
As you have probably realized on your own, there is a huge difference between what men and women say they want and what really gets to their hearts. We could write novels on the subject, but since our time and resources are limited, how about we get to the point and review the priorities and expectations of each gender?
Men’s in- and out-of-Bedroom Happiness
Forget about what men say they want, because they probably don’t know it themselves! The truth is that, under their superficiality and sex drive, men have quite profound tastes and they need to see in a woman more than just a body, a cute face, or appetizing shapes in the long term. You have several ways to get to his heart and, if you play your cards right, you can’t go wrong:
- Senses
- Pride
- Friends
- Stomach
- Adventure
1. Play With His Senses
It is not difficult and does not require any special skills. You have to enchant your man’s sight, smell, touch, and hearing. The simplest way to do that is through the way you look, the way you smell, the way your skin feels like, and the sound of your voice.
Here are a couple of tips you can follow:
- Always wear clean and beautiful clothes that emphasize your qualities and hide away your defects, that make you feel confident and make your partner want to undress you.
- Accompany your clothes with an irresistible perfume, not too sweet and not too strong, but delicate, flowery, and intriguing, one he will always associate with you and not be able to find in anyone else.
- You may not afford spa sessions, but you can make sure your skin is clean, fresh, and silky soft at all times, an invitation for his hands to touch you and for his lips to kiss you.
- Always keep your calm and let your voice fill his ears and his heart like a love song: not too powerful, not too low, but enough to make yourself heard without disturbing.
- Your home should be all of the above put together: clean, beautifully decorated, smelling of fresh flowers and home-baked cookies, warm and inviting.
If you take the time to think about it, you just have to go back to the beginning of your relationship, when you were trying to impress him, to conquer him. You shouldn’t have stopped, so get back at it!
2. Tickle His Ego
Yes, men are probably one of the proudest species on earth. They need to feel in control, loved, and appreciated. At the same time, they need to feel free, hunt their prey, and feel that victory is close – no one likes impossible battles. If you want to make your partner happy, you need to give him all of that and more, make him feel important to you.
Here are a few things you can try:
- Always let your man see you love him, but never let him feel like he owns you. If he doesn’t have to chase you and fight for you, he will get bored and look for a new challenge. He may take you for granted, and you don’t want that.
- Even when you make most of the decisions, your partner needs to feel that his opinion matters. Show that you care and listen. Honor his wishes when possible. When your needs and expectations don’t align, find a compromise. Show gratitude when getting what you want.
- Around other people, let everyone think he makes decisions and controls things. Even when the reality is different, men need to seem in control, respected and appreciated.
- Never talk bad about him in front of his friends or relatives. No matter how right you are, they won’t like it and they will tell on you. It is better to keep your misunderstandings and discontent between the two of you and maintain appearances in front of everyone else.
- In bed, never let your partner feel you are unsatisfied with his performance. Instead, you can show him you treasure intimacy and your time together, and show him what you like, and how you like it. Fulfill his fantasies and he will want to fulfill yours. Bedroom happiness depends on attraction and chemistry, but it needs communication, reciprocity, and commitment to survive in the long run.
3. Make His Friends Love You
Perhaps you see them as irresponsible and shallow, perhaps you would do anything to never see them again. However, just like you need to talk to your best friend, to share everything with her, the guys need some time on their own. Whether they go to a football match or they watch the game over a beer, in front of the TV, the experience is the same as the time you spend wandering from one shop to another or gossiping about someone from work. And men gossip too, more than you would think.
That is why, you must make his friends love you. You may have the power to overlook what your friends have to say about him, but men have their way of imposing their will. So, if his friends disagree with your relationship, if they have a bad impression of you, chances are your partner will soon agree to them and leave you. You don’t want someone criticizing everything you say or do, and you can’t close your partner in a cage either. The best choice you have is to give him some freedom and get under his friends’ skin. Make them see how wonderful you are and they’ll make sure your partner doesn’t forget it.
4. Love Does Go Through the Stomach
A lot of women will tell you that you shouldn’t cook, because your hair will smell like food and there will be grease everywhere, that you will ruin your nails and your skin. Those are just stories invented by women who can’t cook or who are too full of themselves to try. When your man comes home from work, exhausted and hungry, he will be too tired to notice your perfect nails or your beautiful haircut.
But if a plate of his favorite dish is steaming on the table, he will forget what upset him so badly in the first place. He will regain his strength, relax, and be ready to answer your questions and fulfill your needs. I know men who can’t wait to visit their friends just because their wives cook, who after a couple of years of marriage would gladly trade their trophy wife for one that is not just as pretty but can actually cook.
No one is saying you should spend hours in the kitchen, but with a little ambition and the right recipes, you can fix a wonderful meal in less than 15 minutes. The bonus in this story is that by cooking your food at home, you can save a lot of money, avoid the chemicals the food industry is poisoning us with, and look after your family’s health. And, who knows, with a great example and some encouragement, he may start cooking as well!
5. Quench His Thirst for Adventure
Whether you like to admit it, consciously or not, he is a player. If you don’t help him consume his energy on you, he will look for other forms of entertainment. If he always gets the same things at home he may want something new. That is why you need to give him diversion and challenges to strive to live up to. That may mean going from slave to master in a minute, from a traditional housewife to a naughty secretary, from a shy schoolgirl to a demanding teacher.
Don’t be afraid to experiment and play. You don’t want your man looking for satisfaction anywhere else, not when you need him to satisfy you, anyway. With that in mind, it is time you left all your inhibitions aside and you bloomed into the complex and attractive woman he saw in you in the first place. To keep her man happy, a woman needs to be a housewife in the kitchen, a whore in the bedroom, and his partner the rest of the time.
We already discussed the part about the kitchen, and friendship is an essential element in any happy marriage. Now you need to discover the whore in you. And don’t be ashamed, don’t act surprised! We are human, and we have needs, just like men. Why crave an orgasm and maybe have to masturbate to get it while your partner fantasizes about another woman or things you don’t want to try when you can go wild and experience true bedroom happiness and enjoy the fireworks anytime you want?
What Women Want and Treasure
Women have complex needs, more complex than they care to acknowledge. If you only tend to some of those needs, the needs you don’t meet may end up driving her toward someone else. If you want her to remain yours for the long run, you have to work on several aspects:
1. Looks
2. Brains
3. Wallet
4. Heart
5. Charm
1. Looks
Perhaps it’s wrong of me to list the physical attributes first. There is a saying according to which the husband should be a little prettier than the devil. However, if they don’t like what they see next to them, when they wake up in the morning, most women end up caressing someone else’s man. You may get away with an imperfect nose, a pointed chin, or a careless look, but don’t forget to put a little style in the clothes you’re wearing, don’t let yourself dive in a barrel of fat, and don’t start a war against water or soap!
Perhaps I am being a bit harsh, and it is not my intention, but I have worked with quite a few floppy men who thought of themselves like actual Don Juans. Guys, get real! Even if your wallet is fat and your car stores a few power horses, a woman sleeping with you for money doesn’t make you irresistible. And if your wife swore to be there for you no matter what, it does not mean you no longer have to take care of your body, wash or shave when you are around her.
You want sex and adventure. Give it to her, and she will reward you. The world is larger and more complex than you see at work, in the kitchen, or in the bar where you enjoy your drink with friends. You can have all the adventures you like but none will be as rewarding and challenging as your marriage if you play your cards right! If you want her to look pretty for you, start looking pretty for her, and set an example!
2. Brains
This part is a bit tricky. Yes, you cannot choose your genes, and it is not your fault if you come into the world with little potential, but you have the duty the exploit it. You don’t have to be Einstein to get to a woman’s heart, but simple things like knowing when to talk, listen, joke around, and offer her a shoulder to cry on can make the difference between a perfect relationship and a mediocre one, doomed to fail.
Life will put you in awkward situations. You may have to talk to people way out of your league, you may have to support her in projects you have never dreamt about. Where your mind is of no help, use your heart, but don’t rush into saying stupid things or laughing at her misfortune. Be the man she needs you to be in every situation.
To be fair, you may be the one with the brains in your family. If that is the case, it is your responsibility to teach your wife how to live up to your expectations, to help her rise to her potential, and to encourage her to try new things and open up more. You need to talk to her and convince her to follow your advice without feeling insulted, despised, or neglected. It is like raising a child, except that you need to be more careful not to hurt her feelings.
3. Wallet
We claim that love has nothing to do with money. Unfortunately, the capitalist world we live in has left its print on all of us. Money doesn’t buy happiness but often supports it. Happiness in a relationship is often tied to financial stability and comfort. So try to provide that to your partner, especially if you expect her to stay at home and raise the kids. If both of you earn decent incomes, your life will be easier.
Do you want your wife to dress up, look beautiful, and smell nice all the time? Then be ready to pay for their clothes, jewelry, perfume, and why not, hairdresser, make-up, and cosmetic treatments or, at least, assume their importance. Don’t expect her to look like a doll when she works her heart out for you to get by and barely gets a second to breathe.
Investing in your partner often means investing in your own pleasure and satisfaction. Besides the miracles all the above expenses ensure in terms of aesthetics, that is how women relax and get over their worries and annoyances. You make her happy, and she forgets all about the suspiciously late phone discussions, about the socks left on the floor, about the late drinks with your work buddies, or about the fact that you forgot your anniversary.
4. Heart
I left the heart among the last on purpose. As men, you are supposed to be strong and in control. That does not mean you should not love your wives, but just that you cannot afford to go crazy and lay your heart at their feet. Women need to feel loved and treasured, but, just like men, they need to chase their prey and feel they may lose what they love the most to keep fighting for it. That is if you want to keep their passion and interest alive.
Love her, cherish her, and make her feel like she is the center of your universe. Every now and then, remind her there are other women out there. Don’t let her see you can’t live without her, don’t let her see she gives meaning to your life, or at least do it gradually and allow her to appreciate what you offer. Also, it is important that you prove your feelings. Just telling her you love her all the time does not exempt you from showing it to her. You need to be there for her, to surprise her with meaningful gestures, to make her life easier, and to help her out when she needs you the most.
5. Charm
Just like men, women need to be conquered. If you want in- and out-of-bedroom happiness, you have to work for it. Quite a few men complain that their wives are no longer willing to sleep with them, but by sleeping they understand that they should clap their hands or lie in bed and let their wives take care of everything. They have certain demands and expectations but they aren’t ready to offer the same in exchange. Well, as great as that may be for you, guys, it has to work both ways.
So, start preparing romantic dinners, filling the bathtub with rose petals, and lighting the bedroom with scented candles. Trade your weekend with the guys for a romantic getaway with your wife. It may seem less tempting from a distance, but trust me, things can get pretty wild if you know how to stir the beast! Seriously, jokes aside, you need to conquer your wife and fight for her happiness every day. Surprise her, make her feel pretty and special, and remain the delicious treat she needs to strive for.
Rediscover Yourselves in a Romantic Getaway
Yes, your home bedroom and the other rooms in your home are great. But when was the last time you enjoyed a weekend just the two of you, making one of your oldest wishes come true, living exclusively for one another? Don’t let your busy schedule at work, financial difficulties, children, or other factors mess up your plans every time.
An escape, even for only a couple of hours, can work miracles for your relationship. So, for once in your life, leave everything else aside and focus on the two of you. You may not see it now, but your relationship is what keeps everything together. If it falls apart, everything else will, because you two are the pillars of everything around you. Take one of the pillars away, and everything crashes.
So, instead of risking for the pillars to fall apart, how about we start working on consolidating them, and on building a stronger connection between them? It doesn’t matter if you face the most challenges in the bedroom or outside of it. Sooner or later, we all need a change of scenery, an escape, a fresh start.
Aspects to Consider When Planning a Romantic Getaway
- The destination has to be somewhere romantic or full of meaning for the two of you. It can be the place where the two of you met, spent your honeymoon, or always dreamt about going.
- Make sure it’s somewhere intimate, where you don’t risk running into people you know. Yes, we are all social creatures but, sometimes, running away from society is the best thing we can do for ourselves and our relationships.
- Choose a place that is at least comfortable, if not downright luxurious. This getaway should be your ticket to rest, sex, fun, and intimacy. It shouldn’t leave room for cooking, cleaning, or watching TV.
- Look for a chance to wear fancy clothes or wander about naked, to play various roles, and to surprise each other with crazy or stupid things you cannot do at home. It’s good to get out of your comfort zone and surprise yourself and your loved one now and then.
- Focus on finding something exciting, a place that bursts with passion and romance, with music and a charm of its own, a place you will never forget.
- Don’t forget to take pictures and buy souvenirs. When you go back home, they’ll help you relive the experience.
5 Ideas for a Romantic Getaway
1. A cabin in the mountains
You get to choose the exact location, but it has to be in wintertime, while there is still snow and the cold outside requires the heat of the fireplace. Perhaps some of you will dislike the idea, but those who love nature and the outdoors will certainly treasure it. There is something special about mountain tops. They make you feel like you are above everything and everyone else, nothing bad can get to you and, no matter what life throws your way, you can face it.
Besides, don’t you love the smell of the fire, the shadows dancing on the walls, the intimate and cozy atmosphere they create? You can alternate the freezing snow with a hot bubble bath, the flavorful tea with a glass of wine, the snacks by the fireplace with romantic dinners in formal clothes. It will be just the two of you and a variety of ways to spice up your relationship, build confidence in one another, and enrich your sexual experiences.
2. The beach
It is hard to mention an exact location. You can choose anything closer to where you live, affordable, or, on the contrary, distant, exotic, and adventurous. Just make sure it is not too crowded but not too deserted either, not too modern, but not too primitive.
It should provide all the intimacy you need and all the modern facilities that can guarantee fun and relaxation. You have to admit there is nothing more romantic than the sunset or the sunrise on a silky beach, making love under the stars or in the water, or walking hand in hand with the waves caressing your feet.
3. Paris
Perhaps not all of you will agree, but there is something special about France, about its capital, the Eiffel Tower, the Champs Elysees, the Seine, and the Louvre. The history, the passion residing in the air, the magic of the past embracing the present are just a few of the things that can make you fall in love with one another all over again.
It doesn’t matter if you only have one weekend or if you can stay for a whole week or a whole month. There is no doubt that you will return home with a huge case of memories and a heart full of love and happiness.
4. Venice
The Italians have fire running through their veins, but it is not just something in their nature; it is all about the place they live in. Italy is the land of fire and water. Beautiful beaches, impressive architecture, rich history, and captivating culture – they are all the ingredients required to create the perfect scenery for a romantic getaway.
Why Venice? Because it’s your chance to let yourself be surrounded by the waters or float along the channels, dream and be happy hand in hand with your soul mate. You’ll enjoy excellent services, breathtaking landscapes, and a trip you are bound to remember for as long as you live.
5. A Cruise
Before you dismiss the idea, just think about the implications of spending a couple of days on a luxurious boat, in a welcoming cabin, sunbathing on the deck, and ending the day with a candlelight dinner! Don’t you love the idea of just the two of you and the infinite ocean? Of course, you have the spa and the restaurants available if you wish to socialize, or you can just sit there all day long and enjoy the scenery, listen to the waves, and admire your dearest person in the whole world.
You can not only forget about all your worries, but you can also put some distance between you and them, literally speaking. It may cost you a fortune, but it will be all worth it. After all, you’ll have a home away from home, and a bedroom to take with you and return to wherever you go.
There Are Affordable Alternatives too!
If you can’t afford the above don’t panic! The idea of a getaway is that you spend time together, rediscover one another, learn to have fun, and enjoy the little things. It doesn’t have to be anything described above. It can take place in a friend’s apartment, in an Airbnb rental, in a hotel room, or even outdoors, camping.
Show your partner that you can have fun anywhere and anytime, that there is more about you than meets the eye. As for everyday life, don’t forget that love is all about helping your significant other up when life throws them to the ground, finding the power to smile when you feel like crying, being there for one another when you feel like running away, and sharing things that should never be shared.
If you want to be the perfect partner and to see your loved one experience in- and out-of-bedroom happiness, give them everything you want to receive. Be everything you want them to be. Your efforts will certainly be repaid, because, although love works in mysterious ways, it always returns to its origins.