We all dream of bedroom happiness but are we looking in the right place? Although we all see our love life connected to the bedroom, it is time we left stereotypes behind and we discovered the magic in every corner of our home. Each little object shares a story, and each inch of our home is filled with the emotions of the beautiful moments it witnessed. Building love on various foundations can help you experience different sensations, some stronger than others. In the following lines, we’ll focus on how you can turn your home into a love nest, stir your loved one’s interest and passion anytime, and turn your bedroom and entire home into an oasis of happiness!
Intimacy Problems and Bedroom Happiness
1. Prejudices
Although we live in the 21st century, quite a few people out there have problems getting over their tight upbringing and leaving their prejudices behind. The bedroom is probably the only place that does not leave room for patterns or conveniences other than one’s pleasure. To put it briefly, everything the partners like is allowed and advised, everything that makes them feel uncomfortable should be prohibited. Each couple has the right to set their boundaries. But, when you set your own, keep in mind that, for a fulfilling intimate relationship, diversion, adventure, confidence, and romance are mandatory, even if the proportions vary.
When you set your boundaries, I suggest you keep an open mind. Forget everything you were taught, forget all about the mentality you grew up with, and focus on finding real pleasure and delivering real pleasure to your partner. Try everything that crosses your mind, experiment, and develop your own preferences. Avoid the gestures you find uncomfortable or not to your liking, but never dismiss your partner’s proposals without trying or at least giving them some thought. Sometimes, you find pleasure in delivering pleasure to your loved one, in having them beg for your touch and surrender themselves to you.
2. Communication
Quite a few people consider communication to have nothing to do with bedroom happiness and related activities. Well, they are completely wrong. The bedroom is probably the place where communication is the key to pleasure. Perhaps a detailed analysis of one’s reactions during intercourse is not exactly the best choice but, unless you find out what your partner likes and you show your partner what you like, chances are you will never find the middle way, the combinations that are satisfactory for both of you.
Efficient communication does not necessarily rely on words, although there should be nothing you cannot freely discuss with your partner. If you find it difficult to express your feelings and talk about intimacy problems, you can always stick to gestures and subtle reactions. Just make sure you reward the good things your partner does with encouragement and sighs of pleasure and remove his/her hand or ask him/her to stop when something bothers you. Remember that, in love and war, everything is allowed.
3. Routine
Do you feel that your intimate life follows the same patterns over and over again? Does intercourse feel like repeating an old ritual? Only you have the power to change that and build your bedroom happiness! Leave your inhibitions aside and put your imagination to work! Luckily for you, there are a lot of resources you can use for inspiration:
- If visiting a gift shop seems a little too much, shopping is even funnier online.
- If adult movies are not exactly your thing, there is always the old Kama Sutra you can use to discover the secrets of passion and bedroom pleasures.
- You don’t have to do role-playing, but putting on some sexy lingerie, a sensual perfume, and dancing around the house will make you feel better and will drive your partner nuts.
- If you have a hard time coming up with new ideas, try a little spontaneity: trade the bedroom for the living room, the kitchen for the car, trade the bed for the sofa, a chair, or even the carpet. Innovation is the most effective treatment for routine.
- When you are not in the mood for sex, keep in mind that a massage or a hot bath can work miracles. You can never know when it will be your turn to want something and your partner’s to deny it.
Whispers and Gestures in Bedroom Happiness
Believe it or not, although we would all like our partners to be virgins when we meet or get married, in time, we end up wishing for bedroom experience and skills. Of course, the ideal is not to obtain these skills by sleeping with other people, but if neither can tutor the other, how are we supposed to know how to make our partners happy? Change your attitude toward your partner: be provocative, spontaneous, and a little crazy. Play games, learn new tricks, and apply them! It can all be achieved through independent study and heavy practice!
You may say you had your share of studies as a child and teenager but it’s something you need to do, as it will not only keep your partner satisfied and crazy about you, but it will also convince him/her to give you everything you want, in the bedroom and outside of it. The most important step in the process is finding out what he/she likes. Your partner may agree to say it directly, to guide you, or to come up with a list of suggestions. But they may say they’re happy with everything you do and have no particular preferences, even when it is not true.
Therefore, besides freely discussing the subject, you need to do a little research by yourself and use your discoveries to spice up things in your bedroom.
- Watch movies together and study your partner’s reactions throughout the hot scenes. Perhaps an erotic movie is just the impulse your partner needs to burst into flames, or they’ll react to certain scenes allowing you to discover what kind of behavior turns them on.
- Try various outfits to find out what they likes. A short fashion parade or some teasing can’t cause harm, especially when the music is playing and you are home alone.
- Buy the Kama Sutra, or a similar sex tips guide, or download one from the Internet and study it. There are a lot of tips you can use, and the images will give you some ideas on things you can try.
- During the day, while working around the house, take advantage of every opportunity to touch your partner and whisper something in his/her ear. Even if they’re not in a move for sex, it will tickle their ego and make them look at you differently.
- Turn a light kiss on the lips into a passionate one, with a small bite or an intimate touch, whenever the kids or your visitors are not watching.
- When you are going to a wedding, a party, or a restaurant, put on the best clothes you have, make yourself attractive, and tease your partner every time you have the chance. They will look forward to being alone with you and love the idea of danger and forbidden temptations.
- Feel free to dance around the house whenever the music is playing, and, especially when changing your clothes. It will turn your partner on and tease them at the same time.
- Play hard to get from time to time, but make sure you get caught eventually. Hunters don’t like to get back home empty-handed.
- Organize romantic dinners. Everyone loves good food and beautiful displays but don’t make formal wear a condition – lingerie might work better.
- Take showers or bubble baths together anytime you have the chance. It is the best and most exciting way to get close to your partner and stir their desire. Besides, it is generally acknowledged that wet orgasms are stronger.
- Light up scented candles in the bedroom. Just because your partner is not the romantic type it does not mean they don’t enjoy dim light or great fragrances.
- Put on sexy underwear and your partner’s favorite perfume after showering, before going to bed. It will make them want to stay close to you.
- When your partner takes you in their arms or cuddles, you align your body to theirs, so that they can feel your every muscle and shape.
- If your partner is not in the mood for cuddling, it does not mean you can’t let your hand slip along their body and whisper something provocative in their ear.
- Never demand to make love, but announce that you are ready anytime your partner wants to, and surprises are waiting.
- Explore all of their body with your hands and mouth to determine which areas are more sensitive, and to which touches they respond better.
- Never make love in the same positions. Variety should be part of your everyday life.
- Try role-play. If you’re not into wearing costumes, just change your attitude but surprise your partner with the things you say and do every night.
- Change location. If you cannot go to other rooms because of the children, just move to the floor, lean against the wall, use a chair, or go out and do it in the car, but don’t let making love be resumed to the bed only.
- Use sex toys. You can either visit shops in your area or order the things you like online. It does not have to be something kinky or exaggerated, use whatever fits your preferences and however you find it convenient.
As you can see, there is nothing special, difficult, or bad required from you. A few whispers and gestures can take you a long way when it comes to attaining and, why not, maintaining bedroom happiness. Anyone should apply them, so do not let conveniences or prejudices stand in your way. A couple’s sex life should never leave room for shame, complexes, self-loathing, or routine. Everything that makes you or your partner happy is allowed and highly recommended.
Some of you may have doubts about being able to go through with these tips. You should not. No matter how happy or unhappy you are with your body, your partner is with you for a reason, and there’s surely a way to make yourself attractive to them. You just need to know what turns them on and give it to them. Once you succeed, your partner will not see any of the things that bother you, so don’t be afraid to do crazy things every time you have the chance!
What If You Have Different Ideas of Bedroom Happiness?
Your partner may want things you are not so fond of. If you can find a way to offer them without hurting yourself, great! If not, just let them know how you feel. Don’t put yourself through things you do not like because, one day, when you no longer want to do those things and you will tell them why, they will feel bad, deceived, and insecure. Love should never make people feel like that. But, never say “no” to something without trying! It may seem unacceptable at first sight but prove pleasurable for both of you.
What If Your Partner Is Not That Great in Bed?
That is unfortunately a common problem that takes time to be solved. What matters is that there are solutions to it. The first thing to remember is to never throw their poor performance in their face. Both men and women are very sensitive when it comes to their talents in bed. If you show your disappointment, you will either make them lose their self-confidence and, with it, the little hope you had to make things better, or will you push them into sleeping with other people just to prove that they can and that others appreciate their skills.
You need to give your partner confidence, to raise their self-esteem. They are probably aware of their faults and want to improve. You just need to encourage them and show them the best way to do it. If you don’t know what works for you, it’s time you find out, even if it means touching yourself. You need to know exactly where they should touch you to increase pleasure and what positions are more pleasurable for you.
When in bed, gently guide their hands to your sensitive places. Make sure you reward their touches with sighs of pleasure. It will make them feel in control and they will want repeat confirmations of your pleasure. If your partner prefers other positions than you, just tell them you want to enjoy other positions as well. Try one that they like and switch to one that you like. Guide hands hands on your body.
Always reward your partner’s efforts with praises, confirmations, or encouragement to continue. In time, your partner will learn how to control their own reactions and how to make you happy. Remember that, despite their limited performance in bed, your partner loves you, has been there for you, and they will continue to do so. Don’t cheat on your partner for sex! Another person will only see you as an object, they will not take the time to get to know you or care for the things you like. Having sex with someone else will probably be worse than what you experience with your partner. Besides, with patience and hard work, anything can be improved.
10 Ingredients for Long-Term Bedroom Happiness
- Mystery – It has always been appreciated as crucial for passionate relationships. You can maintain it by surprising your partner with small gestures, keeping certain information and actions for yourself, or making them feel that there is more to you than meets the eye.
- Dynamism – No one wants a couch potato for a partner, no matter how little they weigh. You need to burst with energy at all times, to be ready for action and adventure, to fight for what you want and for the comfort and well being of the two of you.
- Optimism – You may wonder what optimism has to do with bedroom happiness, but the truth is that no one wants the have sex when their morale or self-confidence is down. You need to help your partner get over what bothers them and see the full side of the glass. This way, you will be like a breath of fresh air, a wave of peace on stormy seas.
- Spontaneity – If your partner always knows what to expect, they will soon lose interest and look for another source of entertainment. Be like a butterfly, a bell, or a summer storm – fresh, colorful, joyful, and unpredictable!
- Resourcefulness – Perhaps you can’t afford expensive gifts or romantic getaways, but find a proper substitute and show your partner that you care.
- Playfulness – You can be serious and responsible at work, but once you come home and, especially when you enter the bedroom, it helps to be playful and surprising, ready to stir passions and sighs of pleasure.
- Sensuality – You can burst with passion and longing, but don’t forget to alternate rough kisses with gentle touches, bites with whispers, and quick movements with soft swings.
- Attention to detail – You can be devilishly sexy, smart and irresistible, yet, sometimes, your partner will need a simple hug, some kind words, and encouraging looks. It is important to be able to forget about your own needs for a while and focus on theirs. Your efforts will certainly be repaid sooner or later.
- Seduction – The fact that you have a history together does not mean you belong to one another for life and you should forget all about the other’s needs and wishes. You need to keep seducing your partner, to gain your place in their heart and keep it, it’s a struggle that never ends.
- Loyalty – There is no doubt there will be times when you feel bored, tired, or ready to quit. Always remember that, while other people came and left, your partner remained by your side. Love is not something you just give or receive, it is something you build. So, when you feel that you no longer love or want your partner, you should work on rebuilding the love, reviving the passion, turning your relationship into the rewarding and fulfilling experience it used to be, and bringing back your bedroom happiness.